DOOF 'N' PUSS!
by Brahian
Summary: A series of one-shots decipting what could have become of Doofenshmirtz's TV show if the director hadn't suggested the platypus have a girlfriend. Starring Perry the Platypus as himself, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz as himself, and Major Monogram as R.I.C.K. Written by Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. Ghost-written by Not-A-Doctor Brahian!
1. Theme song

_**I wanted to include the theme song in here somewhere, but it won't fit in the description, so here it goes:**_

_**"Where's Perry?" is written on this wanted poster, hanging on a tree. And we see this little hand reach up and tear the poster down and the music kicks in and all "Chika chicka chow chicka chow chow chicka chicka chicka chicka chow" and the opening credits start like on one of those cool 80's TV shows with a voice over. You know...**_

_**A fugitive, semi-aquatic special forces amateur stage magician, framed for a crime he didn't commit, the 1865 assassination of Abraham Lincoln, joins forces with a rogue-trillionare inventor-extreme fighting champion from the future. Together with the aid of "R.I.C.K.", their super crime-fighting high-tech talking rickshaw, they'll bring hope, justice, and varying degrees of aquaticness to a Tri-State area in peril. Together, they are... DOOF 'N' PUSS!**_


	2. Episode 1: Ham on Rye, Hold the Mayor

**TONIGHT'S EPISODE: HAM ON RYE, HOLD THE MAYOR**

**So, those of you who have any idea what I'm doing with this, have seen most of this episode already, so I'll just skip to the end. This is gonna be a very short chapter...  
But before I do that, I want to say something. I've got a couple of things planned for future episodes, but not enough if I want this to be a long-running show! So give me your ideas! WHat other adventures should Perry and Doof go on? Tell me in your review! Please?**

**Okay, now that that's over, let's skip to the end. Let's see, fast-forward... Here we are!**

"You want me? You come get me!" shouted Punk-Fake-Mayor-Guy as he transformed into a ten-foot-tall hideous monster!"

"What IS that?" shouted Doofenshmirtz.

"I have no idea!" said Rick. "Those readings make no sense!"

"Grrrrr," said Perry, which probably meant, "WHATEVAH! Let's go kick some shape-shifter butt!"

Suddenly, Perry jumped onto Rick, somersaulted onto a building, and leaped right into the monster's eye!"

"Gah!" shouted the creature. "My eye! My only weakness!" The monster stumbled backwards, grabbing at its eye, and crashed to the ground, reverting back to its mayor form.

"Grrrr," said Perry as he landed with swiftness and agility on both feet and one of his hands, the other sticking behind him dramatically. His growl probably meant, "That was easy."

"Why?" shouted Doofenshmirtz, pointing an accusatory finger at the shapeshifter. "Why did you do it, Punk-Fake-Mayor-Guy?"

"Because," said Punk-Fake-Mayor-Guy, whose name is very tiring to write. "The mayor has absolute power over the Tri-State area! Who wouldn't want that?"

"Oh, right," said Doofenshmirtz.

"Congratulations, Doof 'N' Puss," said Rick, extending his computer-screen-thingy over to them as the police dragged the shapeshifter away. "You have once again saved the Tri-State Area from certain peril."

"I don't know, that seemed a little too easy…," said Doofenshmirtz.

"Grrrr," said Perry, elbowing him in the knee, which probably meant, "Don't jinx it!"


	3. Episode 2: Rise Of Super Eggplant!

**TODAY'S EPISODE: RISE OF SUPER EGGPLANT!**

**The title of this episode is a lot more meaningful than it looks. *cough cough* acronym! *cough cough*  
On an entirely related note, this chapter is dedicated to Rose Hunter, who not only suggested this but is also turning 13 today! Yaay! Let's all wish her a happy birthday! So, if you have time, just go to her profile, and PM her saying "Happy Birthday!" or something similar. Happy birthday Rose, hope you like your episode!**

Dr. Doofenshmirtz was in the garage, working on a new invention, when Perry looked in through the doorway.

"Grrrrr," he said, which probably meant, "Hey Doofenshmirtz, whatcha doin'?"

"Oh, nothing, Perry the Platypus, just working on a new invention," said Doofenshmirtz. "You know, in the future, we won't exchange greetings whenever we meet someone. Instead, evil aliens will devour us in acts of canniballism. Just a little something to look forward to."

Suddenly, a rabbit hopped out of Perry's hat.

"Finished!" said Doofenshmirtz, ignoring the rabbit. "Behold, Perry the Platypus, the ANIMATINATOR!"

"Grrrr?" asked Perry, which probably meant, "What does it do?"

"Simple," said Doofenshmirtz. "All I have to do is shoot something with it, and it will be animated to life!"

"Grrrrr?" asked Perry, which probably meant, "And why would you want a contraption like that?"

Doofenshmirtz shrugged. "Plot purposes?"

* * *

Meanwhile, on the other side of the Tri-State Area, a certain triangle-faced kid and his certain green-haired brother were eating breakfast at the dinner table. Did I mention it was lunch time?

"Hey Ferb," said Phineas. "I know what we're gonna do today! We're gonna eat this eggplant!"

"Why?" asked Ferb.

"I don't know," Phineas shrugged. "Plot purposes?"

Suddenly, a huge lazer beam shot through the window and hit the eggplant!

"What was that?" asked Phineas.

Suddenly, the eggplant began to move in Phineas's hands, and its eggplantshell was ripping apart until it had three rips which resembled two eyes and a mouth.

"Where is the stillness of the plant? The motionlessness of the eggs?" asked a voice which seemed to be coming from the rip that looked like a mouth. "It all hurts… All there is is pain. Pain and cheese!"

Phineas looked at Ferb. Ferb shrugged.

* * *

"Cheese!" shouted the eggplant. "CHEESE!"

"Oops," said Doofenshmirtz. "I may have accidentally misfired."

"Grrrrrr," said Perry, which probably meant, "You have terrible aim, D."

Suddenly, Rick extended his computer thingy over to them. "Team, I have some bad news," he said.

"What is it, Rick?" asked Doofenshmirtz.

"Grrrr," said Perry, which probably meant, "'Sup, Ricky?"

"Rickardo," said Doof.

"Grrr," said Perry, meaning, "Rick-Roller."

"Ricktamundo."

"Grrrr (Rickalator)."

"Rick-"

"Okay, enough already!" shouted Rick, exasperated. "Anyway, it appears your animator ray has accidentally hit an eggplant and put it on a rampage."

"How do you know that?" asked Doofenshmirtz.

"Here's a conversation I picked up from the city's telephone lines," said Rick.

A recording of a female teenage voice came out of Rick's sound-thingy. "So then," it said, "The eggplant started freaking out, yelling about cheese, and I was like, 'Phineas and Ferb, you are so BUSTED!' and they were like, 'But Candace, we didn't do it, we swear!' and I was like, well who ELSE would bring an eggplant to life?'!"

Rick stopped the recording."We need to get over there and put a stop to it before something bad happens."

"Okay, where is it?" asked Doofenshmirtz.

"It's somewhere on the other side of the Tri-State Area," said Rick. "A little town called DanVille."

* * *

"Eggy! Eggy, calm down!" shouted Phineas.

"CHEESE!" shouted Eggy, Phineas's new name for the eggplant. "CHEEEEEEEESE!"

Then, Eggy jumped up and flew out the window, shouting "!"

Suddenly, the Flynn-Fletcher family, except for their parents, who were at the antique store, heard a siren outside.

"Oh no, now what have you done guys?" said Candace, insisting on pinning this on them.

Suddenly, the door was kicked open and a tall gy with spiky hair, a pointy nose, and karate robes walked in.

"Surrender the eggplant and nobody gets hurt!" he shouted.

"It jumped out the window," said Phineas. "Sorry."

"Darn it!" said the man, using the kids' show equivalent of cursing. "Come on Perry, let's go after it."

And then he went back outside and began pulling a rickshaw that appeared to have a platypus in it and a siren on top.

"That was weird," said Candace.

* * *

Doof 'N' Puss arrived at a cheese factory, where an eggplant-shaped hole was in the front door. Perry and Doofenshmirtz walked in and surveyed around. Knocked-out cheese factory workers lay all over the floor, each of them sporting cartoonish eggplant-sized bumps on their heads.

"Eggy was here," said Doofenshmirtz.

"Grrrr?" said Perry, which probably meant, "Eggy?"

"What?" asked Doofenshmirtz. "That's what the kid named it! Come on, let's just get that plant."

Perry and Doofenshmirtz walked along the halls of the cheese factory, where strange, cheese-making machinery churned and groaned as they walked through.

Then, Doof and Perry turned a corner and found an eggplant munching hungrily at a mountain of cheese.

"I don't remember eggplants being so big," noticed Doofenshmirtz.

And he was, of course, right, for this eggplant was easily the size of a large dog, and growing bigger by the second.

"Cheese…," it growled. "Cheeeeese…."

"Hold it right there, cheese-eating eggplant thing!" shouted Doofenshmirtz.

The eggplant turned to look at them, then quickly scooted through the cheese away from them.

"We're not gonna let him get away! Come on, Perry the Platypus, let's use our TEAM EFFORTS COMBINED!"

Rick began playing some 80's action music as Perry triple-somersauted onto a mountain of cheese just above the eggplant, and Doof used his Kung-Fu skills to leap over it and land right in front of it.

The eggplant made a sound of surprise and turned aound, but not before Perry and Doofenshmirtz leaped at it from both sides!

It looked as though our heroes had won, but suddenly: WHAM! Doofenshmirtz was hit in the face by a giant purple fist! POW! Perry was knocked out of the way by a purple foot!

Doof 'N' Puss looked up at the eggplant, and were surprised to see that it was quickly sprouting arms and legs!

"Hahaha!" laughed the plant in a deep voice. "Give up now! The more cheese I consume, the more powerful I become! Soon, I will be unstoppable!" The eggplant grabbed a bunch of cheese and ran away, arms, legs, and body growing as it consumed more cheese.

"That," said Doof," was not good.

"Grrrrr," said Perry, which probably meant, "No, you think?"

* * *

Eggy sniffed the air of DanVille Park. "Cheese…," he muttered. "Must find cheese…"

Suddenly, a smell caught his nose. "CHEEEEEEESE!" he shouted and ran in the direction of the smell. It was so astonishing, so much cheese! "Cheese… cheese…," he growled. "Where is the cheese?"

And then, he saw it. A huge wheel of cheese being rolled down the street for the Cheese Parade.

"CHEEESE!" he shouted, leaping across straight into the wheel.

* * *

"Well that's peculiar," said Lawrence, coming out of the antique shop. "There seems to be a giant eggplant sticking out of the cheese wheel."

And giant eggplant there was, for the thing must have been six feet tall by now, and growing rapidly. Rips began appearing in the cheese wheel as the plant outgrew its constraints, until suddenly, the wheel exploded in a cheesy mess of shredded cheese!

"CHEEEEEEEESE!" shouted the eggplant over the screams on the receding crowd.

"Lawrence, quick, let's get out of here!" shouted Linda as the freaked-out people ran past them.

"Wait, he seems like a nice guy," said Lawrence as the eggplant roared in triumph, its eyes glowing a deep red-violet.

* * *

"How do we defeat this thing?" asked Doofenshmirtz.

"Grrr!" said Perry, which probably meant, "I have no idea. Those readings make no sense!"

"That's a pencil sharpener," said Doof.

"Grrr," said Perry, which probably meant, "How does that information help us at this convention?"

"Guys," said Rick, "Quit quoting lines from the original shjow!"

"Why don't you stop breaking the Fourth Wall?" asked Doof.

Rick virtually facepalmed.

"CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!" shouted Eggy, having finished devouring the shredded remains of the cheese wheel. He was now easily ten feet tall, about as big as Punk-Fake-Mayor-Guy's monster.

"Hold it, Eggy!" shouted Doofenshmirtz as he and Perry assumed their battle positions.

"Who dares disturb me?" shouted Eggy in his creepily deep voice. Then he noticed them. "You again? IO thought I creamed you guys back at the cheese factory! Whatever, I'll just as easily pwn you again!"

His fist flew at Perry, but Perry just jumped onto in and began knawing it with his beak. Doof leaped into the air with his Kung-Fu skills and kicked Eggy right in the eye!

"Ouch!" shouted Doof. "I'm stuck!" Indeed, his foot was stuck knee-deep in the hole that Eggy calls an eye.

Suddenly, Eggy forgot about Perry and began screaming, "Agh! My eye!" Eggy clawed at his eye until he managed to grab Doofenshmirtz and yanked him out. He threw Doof onto the ground, and did the same with Perry.

"You may have won this time, Doof 'N' Puss," he said in his deep voice, "But soon I'll be invincible, and there's nothing you can do to stop me!"

Eggy punched a huge gaping hole into a nearby jailhouse and pulled out a huge chunk of cheese, tossing it into his mouth.

"Hey, that was my last meal!" shouted Punk-Fake-Mayor-Guy.

"Farewell, Doof 'N' Puss," said Eggy, and opened a pair of huge purple wings, flying off into the sky.

"Darn it!" cursed Doofenshmirtz.

* * *

Back at headquarters, Doof 'N' Puss sat around the breakfast table, eating lunch. Did I mention it was dinnertime?

"Reports of a huge, evil, flying eggplant have been reported through out the Tri-State Area," said the ews reporter guy from Doof's TV. "Who will save us from this monster?"

Doofenshmirtz turned off the TV. "What are we going to do?" he wondered.

Suddenly, Rick extended his computer screen thingy over to them. "Guys, I think I may have some information that could be of assistance."

"Grrrrr," said Perry, which probably meant, "Well, what is it? Spit it out already!"

"When Doof's leg got stuck in Eggy's eye," continued Rick, "It seemed to drop everything and focus just on him. If one of you can just get into its eye for long enough for the other to destroy it, we could be free of this eggplant for good."

"What is with everything and eyes being their weakness?" asked Doof.

"Grrrrr," said Perry, which probably meant, "And why does cheese make it more powerful? What's up with that!"

* * *

Eggy floated over to the cheese factory where he and Doof 'N' Puss had first fought. This place still had the most cheese in the entire Tri-State Area, and he was determined to eat it all.

Eggy used his now clawed hands to poke eight fingerholed into the rooftop, then pulled with all his might. He easily lifted the roof off the building and threw it to the side. He was about to fly down and grab all the cheese, when he noticed two figures standing on the tallest cheese mountain.

"Eat platypus, eggplant monster!" shouted Doofenshmirtz and threw Perry the Platypus right into Eggy's eye!

Almost immediately, horrible, insufferable pain coursed through Eggy's body, sednding him toppling to the ground.

"Agh!" he shouted. "my eye!" He tried to grab the platypus, but it only crawled farther into his eye, making him writhe in pain. Soon, Eggy's vision was starting to go purple…

* * *

"I think you can come out now, Perry the Platypus," said Doofenshmirtz, looking at the smashed aggplantshell that lay before him. As soon as Perry had entered its eye, its wings had failed it and it fell to the ground, smashing like a pumpkin on Halloween, splattering Doof's karate robes with eggplant juice.

"You know, normally this wouldn't be allowed on a kids' show, but seeing as it's an eggplant I guess it doesn't really count…," he said.

Suddenly, Perry crawled out of the eggplant's eye, covered in eggplant rinds. "Grrrrrr," he said, which probably meant, "Never. Again."


	4. Episode 3: Weasel Rock You!

**TONIGHT'S EPISODE: WEASEL ROCK YOU!**

**This episode is decdicated to DeadHead, who not only gave me the idea for this, but just about planned the entire plot. Thanks a lot, DeadHead!:D**

"You know, Perry the Platypus, in the future we won't sit and eat lunch in the afternoon. Instead, angry mutants will rebel against us in rants of rage! You know, just a little something to look forward to."

"Grrrrr," said Perry as he made a steel cage constantly disappear and reappear. He probably meant, "Grrrrr."

"Good afternoon, team," said Rick, extending his computer-thingy over to them.

"'Sup, Ricky?" asked Doof.

"Grrrr," said Perry, which probably meant, "Rickardo."

"Guys, haven't we gone over this?" asked Rick, exasperated. "Anyway, here's your mission for today." Rick's computer screen changed to show various pictures of a crashed hovering device taken at different angles. "Reports of this crashed alien spaceship-looking thing have been reported throughout the entire Tri-State Area," said Rick, "The authorities are in a panic, trying to figure out how it got there. You guys need to get out there and find out what's going on."

"Got it!" said Doof, and began pulling Rick where he was telling him to go, while Perry jumped in and placed the siren on top of him.

* * *

Doof 'N' Puss arrived at the crash site, where a giant twenty-foot-long UFO was driven into the ground.

"My, that's one big hovercraft," said Doofenshmirtz.

"Grrrr," said Perry, which probably meant, "Indeed."

"Not feeling very talkative today, are you?" asked Doof.

Perry shook his head.

Suddenly, Perry and Doofenshmirtz heard a shrill roaring behind them. They turned around to see a horrific horrifying velociraptor!

"A dinosaur!" shouted Doofenshmirtz. "It followed you from the past!"

"Grrrr," said Perry, which probably meant, "I didn't live _that_ long ago, Doof."

The dinosaur roared shrilly and stared at them intently.

"Okay," whispered Doofenshmirtz, "Here's what we do. On the count of three, we run for our lives. Okay? One… Two… Thr-"

"There is no need to run away," said the velociraptor.

"AAAAH!" shouted Doofenshmirtz upon hearing it talk. Perry, meanwhile, jumped five feet in the air and landed in front of Doofenshmirtz. Instead of catching him, like Perry probably expected, Doof merely let him fall to the ground.

"Greetings," said the velociraptor, lifting its two-fingered hand. "I come in peace. As you can see, my spaceship has crash-landed on this here planet, and I need to fix it in order to get back home. However, I've heard you two have saved this Tri-State Are from many a horrible monster, and I am in great need of your help."

Perry and Doofenshmirtz looked at each other, then at Rick. Rick virtually shrugged. "He seems friendly."

"Okay then," said Doof. "I am Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, and this is my partner Perry the Platypus, and our talking rickshaw, R.I.C.K."

The dinosaur-alien-thing raised a reptilian eyebrow. "Okay then. My name is Velociraptor, but my friends call me the V-Man."

"Wait, wait, wait," said Doofenshmirtz. "That's actually your name? Parents couldn't think of anything better?"

The dinosaur fumed. "This is why I prefer to be called the V-Man."

"Okay okay, V-Man," said Doofenshmirtz. "So what brings you to this planet?"

The V-Man cleared his throat. "On my planet, we have a large alien weapon of mass destruction, which we were gonna use to win our impending war with the Boogas, an alien species much more eviler than us. Unfortunately, said weapon gained consciousness and went on a rampage, crashing my ship into this planet and running away like a maniac. Unfortunately, the Boogas have caught word and are on their way here as we speak. I need you two to find the weapon and bring it back here before the Boogas do."

"And what will you do while this is happening?" asked Doofenshmirtz.

"I'll be here, repairing my spaceship," said the V-Man. "Remember, the weapon responds to V-Weapon WMD."

* * *

"In other news," said Bridgette Oshinomi, the only news reporter in the entire Tri-State Area with an actual name. "A UFO has once again landed in the Tri-State Area, the only area UFOs ever seem to land in."

Suddenly, a loud screaming came from behind Bridgette. She turned around and saw a bunch of huge killer ferrets crawl out of the UFO, lashing out at anyone who was stupid enough to get too close.

Then, suddenly, one of the ferrets flew out of the UFO with a huge jetpack on its back, carrying a giant laser gun in its arms. "Behold, my people, the planet Earth!"

The other ferrets chattered and chattered and made general ferret noises.

"Now search for the weapon! We cannot let the Voogas win this war!"

Suddenly, the talking ferret began shooting his laser cannon, and Bridgette was one of the unfortunate humans to get hit with the laser.

"Camera Guy," she said as she felt her body changing, "What's going on? Why are you so tall?"

"Uh, you might want to take a look at this," said the camera guy, handing her a hand mirror which he'd gotten out of his pocket.

Bridgette's scream could be heard all across the Tri-State Area as she was confronted with the fact that she was now a platypus.

* * *

"Did you hear that, Perry the Platypus?" asked Doof, pointing in the direction of the noise. "It sounded like a scream!"

"Grrrr," said Perry, which probably meant, "Yes, I know, now pull faster!"

Doofenshmirtz pulled Rick faster towards the source of the scream, while Perry's siren kept anyone from getting in the way.

A few minutes later, they arrived at a UFO, but the aliens and anyone else that had been there at all were gone, all that was left was a bunch of platypuses. Well, platypi. Platypeople?

"Hmmm," said Doof, "I didn't think there were this many platypuses/platypi/platypeople/whatever the word is, in the Tri-State Area."

Perry narrowed his eyes and rubbed the part of his beak that looked sort of like a chin.

"Grrrr," he said to one of them.

"Grrrr," it said back.

Perry's eyes widened and he stepped back.

"What is it, Perry the Platypus?" asked Doofenshmirtz. "What did he say?"

"Gr-" said Perry, which probably meant, "He says-"

Unfortunately, he was interrupted by Doof's scream of "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Perry turned around to see a gigantic killer robot man!

"I'm Norm!" said the robot.

"A ROBOT!" screamed Doof. "In the future, they'll control us in human death matches every morning!"

"You didn't freak out whenever the V-Man told you he was an alien, despite the fact that aliens are cannibals in the future," said Norm.

"Oh, right," said Doof. "Wait, how did you know that?"

"I… uh… well…"

"Wait a second…," said Doof, "You're the secret weapon aren't you?"

Norm's mouth lit up as if he was going to say something, but he hesitated. "Yes," he admitted after a while. "Yes, I am."

"Well, come on, weapon guy, you're coming with us," said Doof, and began pulling Rick as Perry jumped into the rickshaw, running towards where they'd last seen the v-Man.

* * *

Doofenshmirtz, Perry, Rick, and Norm arrived at the crash site, but the V-Man was gone! Instead, an army of giant weasels was assembling!

"That's not good," said Doof.

"You are currently in possession of V-Weapon WMD," said the king of the ferrets, who stood out from the rest only by the fact that he had a crown, a jetpack, a laser, and a translator chip installed in his brain. "Prepare to become semi-aquatic!"

"What the-" Doofenshmirtz didn't even get to finish his sentence as Perry pushed him away and caught the full force of the laser blast! Fortunately, he was already a platypus, so it had no effect.

"Surrender to OogaBooga, Leader of the Booga Tribe, or you and your planet will regret it!" shouted OogaBooga, Leader of the Booga Tribe as he shot Doof with his laser gun. Fortunately, Doof was quick this time and leaped out of the way with his Kung-Fu skills!

"WAIT!" shouted Norm, just as the ferret army was about to leap out at Doof 'N' Puss, who were about to leap back. Suddenly, a slot opened up in Norm's chest, and he inserted a CD into it, and immediately a very annoying sound began to play.

"Why can't we be friends? Why can't-"

"Okay, stop it, stop it!" shouted OogaBooga. "I've heard exactly one and a half lines of that song, and I now know that it is the most annoying thing on the planet! Seriously, just stop!"

Norm stopped playing.

"Listen, if you give us the weapon and promise not to play any of that horrible music," said OogaBooga, "We won't turn you into a platypus."

"No way!" said Doof. "Why are you even turning people into platypuses/platypi/platypeople/whatever anyway?"

"Because," said OogaBooga. "Humans are horrible, violent creatures that have been known to lock ferrets in cages and conduct experiments on them."

"I'm pretty sure that's illegal," said Doof.

"Oh…," said OogaBooga. "Well… This is… Awkward…"

"So why are you warring with the dinosaur aliens, anyway?" asked Doof, curious to know.

OogaBooga looked up into the sky like he was entering a flashback.

"The Voogas have ruled our planet with an iron fist for decades," he explained, "They force us to work at concentration camps, and then every year they take twenty-four of our children and put them in a cage together to fight to the death."

"My, that's horrible!" said Doof.

"Grrrr," agreed Perry.

"Which is why we started a rebellion just last year," continued OogaBooga. "In short, we are the real good guys, and the Voogas are the bad guys. This is why we need that weapon if we want our freedom!"

"Oh," said Doof, "Well in that case, you can have hi-"

"You are too late!" shouted a familiar reptilian voice from behind them. Doof 'N' Puss turned around to see a huge, weasel-themed spaceship hovering over them, and in the front seat stood the V-Man, smiling a sharp-toothed smile.

"MUHAHA!" laughed the V-Man. "Stealing this Booga spaceship was much easier than fixing my own! Good thing you idiotic weasels didn't leave anyone to guard it! MUHAHA!" The V-Man moved the spaceship above Norm, and picked him up with its tractor beam.

"Oh my!" said Norm as he was lifted into the air.

"Now I can go back to my home planet and be showered in riches while we win the war! MUHAHA!" laughed the V-Man and zoomed off into space.

"Well that was-" Doof was getting tired of being interrupted by aliens as he heard the sound of fifty weasels screaming behind him. Doof 'N' Puss turned around to see a helicopter carrying all the giant weasel aliens in a giant net.

"You are currently being transported to Area 51," said a voice from within the helicopter. "Struggle, and it'll only be worse for you!"

"Don't worry, Doof 'N' Puss!" shouted OogaBooga as he was carried away, "We'll find a way out! But you need to find a way into space and stop the V-Man from taking the weapon back to his home planet!"

"You know," said Doof once he had made sure there were no more interruptions, "Somewhere in my subconscious I always knew that an alien species with a fuzzy weasel motif couldn't possibly be the bad guys."

"Grrrrr," said Perry, which probably meant, "Or that an alien with a creepy dinosaur motif could possibly be a good guy."

"Guys," said Rick, "What are we gonna do? The V-Man has stolen the Booga spaceship, his hovercraft is utterly destroyed, and our only source for alien knowledge is long gone!"

Suddenly, Doof 'N' Puss heard a noise behind them.

"MEEP!"

* * *

The V-Man was riding through space, enjoying his victory, when suddenly; a huge fist broke through the floor! The V-Man turned around to see the V-Weapon WMD crawling out of the hole he had punched.

That's when the V-Man noticed something was different. The weapon's head, instead of a smiling face, was a now a black piece of metal with a red line through it. **(In case you didn't get that, cuz something tells me my description skills are not the best right now, that was a shout out to the NormBots from the movie)**

"Must exterminate fuzzy weasels…," said the weapon in a monotone. "Locating nearest fuzzy weasel…"

* * *

In his mind's eye, quite literally, V-Weapon WMD could see the outside of the spaceship he was inhabiting.

It looked exactly like a fuzzy weasel.

"Must exterminate fuzzy weasels," said the weapon, flying out through the roof. Once he had reached the outside, the weapon extended his arm out to the spaceship, and in a matter of seconds, his hand was replaced by a giant laser cannon!

With a flash of green light, the spaceship completely disappeared. He had no idea where it went, probably to another dimension or something. One with a green alien baby in it.

"Must exterminate fuzzy weasels," said V-Weapon WMD, turning on his inner sonar.

The weapon observed the sonar for the fuzzy weasels. They were running all over a planet which the locals called Earth.

"Must exterminate fuzzy weasels," said the weapon, and zoomed across the Milky Way.

**Will Doof 'N' Puss make it to space in time to stop the evil NormBot from destroying all the weasels on the planet? Will OogaBooga and his people ever make it out of Area 51? And who is this mysterious figure whose entire language consists of the word "Meep!"? Many questions will be answered next time on:**

_**DOOF 'N'**** PUSS!**_

**And many will not...**


	5. Episode 4: Doof 'N' Puss Origins

**TONIGHT'S EPISODE: DOOF 'N' PUSS: ORIGINS!**

**Sorry I've been taking so long, but I was having a hard time finding inspiration for this one, because… well, it's history, and I find that slightly boring. But don't worry, once I finished my research, I had tons of fun writing this, so… enjoy!  
This episode is dedicated to D. T. Gunthary, who not only recommended this, but also made sure I didn't forget about it by reminding me in the reviews. Thanks, D. T.!**

**LOCATION: Tri-State Area  
TIME: The 80's**

"What ARE you?!" asked Doofenshmirtz.

"MEEP!" said the… thing. I don't really know how to describe it, but you know what I'm talking about!

"Well, you won't help us in this situation," said Doof, shrugging it off. "You know, Perry the Platypus, it's times like these when I wonder, how did all this start? Do you remember when we first met, Perry the Platypus?"

Perry nodded and growled.

"Yep," said Doof, "I remember it like it was last week…"

"Grrrr," said Perry, which probably meant, "That's because it was."

**LOCATION: Doofenshmirtz Mansion  
TIME: The way-too-distant future**

"Finally," said the Doofenshmirtz of the past, putting the finishing touches on his newest contraption. "I have created the ultimate creation, defied the laws of physics, and assembled together the world's first TIME MACHINE!" Thunder rumbled in the distance as he yelled this.

"But Sire," said Doof's butler, who just happened to look exactly like Major Monogram, "Why would you need to travel back in time? You have everything: Fame, fortune, not to mention amazing Kung-Fu skills, why would you need anything more?"

"Because," said Doof, "What good is that when we live in world where giant robots control us in human death matches every morning, cannibal aliens are running wild, angry mutants are assembling an army to fight us, and who knows what else the author will think of? No, I'm going back in time, and you, unnamed butler who looks uncannily like someone from the original show, are staying here and protecting the mansion for me."

"Fine," said the butler, "Sir."

"Here I go!" said Doof as he sat on his time machine, a large gold chair with a couple gears and pulleys on it, and pulled a lever next to the seat.

**LOCATION: Washinton, D. C.  
TIME: 1865**

"Welcome," said John Wilkes Booth. "Today is the day we finally kill Abraham Lincoln!"

"Yaaaay!" shouted Booth's minions, a total of four people.

"Okay, here's how it's gonna go down," said Booth. "George Azterodt, you will kill Vice President Andrew Johnson at the Kirkwood Hotel, where he's staying. David E. Herold, you and Lewis Powell are gonna break into the house of Secretary of State William H. Seward, and kill him there. And you, Punk-Fake-Mayor-Guy, get to kill the President himself, while he's watching that play they're doing tonight."

"It'll be a great honor," said Punk-Fake-Mayor-Guy. "But where will you be during this time?"

"I," said Booth, "will be waiting in Maryland where we'll rendezvous and flee the country. Good plan?"

"The greatest," said Atzerodt.

"Couldn't have planned it better myself," agreed Herold.

"Good," said Booth. "Then what are we waiting for? The play's starting right now!"

Perry the Platypus walked the streets of D. C., whistling a joyful tune. He had just been casted to play a butler on the play they were doing, on short notice due to the original actor having a cold. But Perry wasn't worried about that. Rumor had it, that the President himself would be watching that play, and meeting the President had been Perry's greatest dream ever since he'd joined the Special Forces back in 1855. Little did he know that his aspirations were about to change in the most surprising way possible…

Meanwhile, Punk-Fake-Mayor-Guy was walking up to the theater as inconspicuously as possible. His plan was to impersonate one of the actors and shoot the president from the stage. Azterodt had been quite pleased when he found out one of his followers was, in fact, a shapeshifter. How he achieved his powers, however, Punk-Fake-Mayor-Guy would never tell.

Punk-Fake-Mayor-Guy was startled out of his thoughts when a platypus walked by him. It was rare to see a platypus in D. C., or anywhere other than Australia for that matter, so naturally he was surprised to see it. He was not, however, surprised by the fact that it was wearing a fedora, because he'd heard the Special Forces had been making a habit of themselves to hire animals for some reason.

Deciding that becoming a platypus would be the easiest choice, as he'd be easy to identify, PFMG morphed into the blue-green creature before him, following it quickly into the theater. As soon as they'd gotten backstage, PFMG confronted the platypus.

"Grrrr," he said.

"Grrrr," replied the platypus, Perry, as it had just told him.

"Grrrr," said PFMG.

"Grrrr," said Perry.

"Grrrr."

"Grrrrr."

Suddenly, without any warning, PFMG wacked Perry in the back of the head with his tail, then pulled a gun out of his hat. Somehow.

The villain ran onto the stage and fired several shots directly into the box where the President was sitting, then ran backstage and morphed back into his original form.

Perry stared at him with wide eyes as the villain held the platypus in place, ignoring the creatures various punches and kicks. Soon, the police had arrived backstage, and PFMG told them the whole story. That is, the whole story that he made up.

"And that's when he ran back here and I made it just in time to stop him. It's a good thing you guys made it, because he was about to shoot at me, too!" PFMG finished.

"Well, thanks a lot, sir," said one of the cops as they handcuffed the protesting platypus. "By the way, what's your name?"

"Punk-Fake-Mayor-Guy," he answered proudly.

"That's not a strange name at all," said the cop.

**LOCATION: District 12  
TIME: The slightly less distant future**

"Say hello to Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark, your tributes for the 74th annual Hunger Games!" shouted a woman with pink hair.

"Oops, wrong timeline," said Doofenshmirtz, stepping back into his time machine.

**LOCATION: A bus  
TIME: 1865**

"Hey, what are you in here for?" asked the guy sitting next to Perry.

"Grrrrr," growled Perry miserably.

"You killed the President?! WHAAAAAAT?!"

"Grrrrr!"

"Oh, you mean someone framed you for it? Tough break, man."

"Grrrr," agreed Perry.

Suddenly, there was a bright flash of rainbow light, and a golden chair with gears and levers and pulleys all over it appeared in the middle of the bus.

"Ooh, I think this is the right timeline," said a pharmacist, getting up from said chair.

All the prisoners stared at him, dumbfounded.

"Yeah, this is getting uncomfortable," said the pharmacist. "Well, don't mind me; I'm just travelling through time here."

But Perry did mind him. Just the previous night, Perry had been framed for a crime he hadn't committed, and he was currently headed towards a jailhouse miles from civilization. In just twelve hours, Perry's life had changed entirely for the worse. Perry minded very much.

Which is why, when the pharmacist pulled a lever on his machine, Perry jumped from his seat and leaped at the pharmacist, grabbing hold of the chair as he was enveloped in bright colorful light.

**LOCATION: Tri-State Area  
TIME: The 80's**

"So that's how we got here," said the Doof of the present. "But wait, that leaves the question of how Rick joined us, and what happened to Punk-Fake-Mayor-Guy?"

"Grrrr," said Perry, which probably meant, "Uh, Doof, I don't think we're supposed to know about Punk-Fake-Mayor-Guy."

Before Doof could answer, however, there was a flash of rainbow light as a golden chair with gears, levers, and pulleys on it appeared before them. Doof 'N' Puss looked at each other nervously, then hid behind a bush that was conveniently nearby. Sure enough, a slightly younger Doof 'N' Puss stepped out of the machine.

"I don't remember other us's being here," whispered Doof.

Perry held a finger up to his mouth in a silent "Shhhhh!"

"Ah, finally, a time period that isn't in a state of dystopianism!" said the Doofenshmirtz of the past. "Hey wait, who are you?" he asked, just noticing the Perry of the past.

"I have a strange impulse to jump up and say hi," said the Doof of the present.

Perry gave a quiet growl, which probably meant, "Quiet. Just remember the Space Time Continuum!"

"Wait, hold on a second," said past!Doof. "Let me put on my Platypus-Translator-Inator." Doof dug through his pocket and pulled out a hearing aid. "Okay, what were you saying?"

"Grrrrr," said Perry, explaining what had happened back in D. C.

"My, that's horrible!" exclaimed Doof. "Well, now that you're in another timeline, you'll be free from the authorities of your own timeline."

Suddenly, Perry remembered something. "Grrrr," he said, explaining that he'd left his spare hat back at the hotel in D. C.

"Well…," said Doof, "I guess we could go back and get it. I mean, I'm not entirely sure what to do now that I'm here, so sure."

And with that, Doof 'N' Puss got back into the time machine and pulled the lever, disappearing in a flash of rainbow light.

"Grrrr," said Perry, which probably meant, "That explains that weird-looking alien thing I was staring at through the corner of my eye."

"Yeah, I thought you seemed unfocused when we had that conversation," said Doof. "Who knew?"

"MEEP!" shouted the… thing.

"Quiet, you, we're trying to reminiscize here!" shouted Doof.

**LOCATION: Kirkwood Hotel  
TIME: 1865**

Punk-Fake-Mayor-Guy was running to the Maryland border when he came across the Kirkwood Hotel, where George Atzerodt was supposed to be killing Vice President Andrew Johnson. PFMG stopped, and an idea suddenly struck him. If he could go in there and sabotage Atzerodt's plan, then Azterodt would ge fired and PFMG would look better in front of the boss! It was genius!

So, PFMG stepped into the hotel, which hadn't heard of the President's assassination yet. However, PFMG was sure it wouldn't be long before the Vice President was notified.

As our villain stepped into the hotel, a receptionist at the front desk said in a bored tone, "Hello, welcome to the Kirkwood Hotel, where, yes, the Vice President is currently living. No, you may not see him, but-"

He was cut off as PFMG knocked him out with a punch to the face.

Suddenly, there was a bright flash of rainbow light, and PFMG hid behind the reception desk as a golden chair with gears, levers, and pulleys materialized before him.

"Okay," said a high-pitched voice that PFMG couldn't identify since he was behind the desk, "Hurry up and get your stuff, this place creeps me out!"

Then, PFMG heard a chatter that he definitely COULD identify. It was that platypus he had framed for murder! But wasn't it on a bus headed to a jailhouse miles away from civilization?

Apparently not, the villain told himself as he caught a glimpse of the platypus running up the stairs. Something wasn't right here, PFMG knew, so he did the only thing he could think of: He transformed into Perry the Platypus and confronted the man with the high-pitched voice.

"Grrrrr," growled the not-actually-a-platypus.

"Didn't you just go up there?" asked the man, whom PFMG assumed was a pharmacist. "Eh, whatever. Come on, let's get out of he-"

He was interrupted by a loud _BANG!_ from upstairs.

"What was that?" exclaimed the pharmacist.

PFMG narrowed his eyes and looked up the stairs, then pointed at the chair with a growl.

"Are you sure we shouldn't go check that out?" asked the pharmacist, "It sounded pretty serious."

PFMG shook his head. Suddenly, there was another _BANG!_ and a loud yell from upstairs.

"Wait, why am I listening to you in the first place?" asked the pharmacist. "I can make my own decisions!" With that, the pharmacist ran up the stairs.

Doofenshmirtz ran up the stairs, following the yells to room 555. Doof kicked open the door to find a platypus and a historical figure in the middle of a gunfight while another historical figure watched anxiously from the sidelines. Fortunately, Doof had excelled at Ancient History in high school, so he knew that these historical figures were George Azterodt and Andrew Johnson. Oh, and the platypus was Perry. The Platypus.

"Hey, how'd you get up here so fast?" Doof wondered.

Perry turned to look at him and gave him a growl, but before Doof was able to decipher it, Azterodt fired his gun!

Fortunately, he was a terrible aim, so Perry was okay. At this, Doof knew exactly what to do. He somersaulted over to Azterodt and assumed a karate position, when suddenly, Azterodt turned to him and fired again!

His terrible aim missed Doof by a mile, as well as allowing Perry to gain the element of surprise and run over to him. Perry leaped up to Azterodt and kicked him right in the face!

"OOOWWWW!" yelled Azterodt, holding a hand up to his face, which was already beginning to swell in the area where Perry had kicked him. "That really, really hurts!"

Within minutes, Azterodt was reduced to a writhing mass on the floor, wincing in painful agony.

"Grrr," said Perry, which probably meant, "Quick, let's get out of here before I get into even more trouble!"

"But what about Andrew Johnson?" wondered Doof.

Perry shrugged and ran down the stairs, Doof following perplexedly behind.

On their way to the lobby, Perry explained to Doof how he'd been on his way to his room in room 556 when he'd heard a shot from the adjacent room. Perry had gone to investigate, and found Azterodt firing another shot at Andrew Johnson. There, Perry had engaged him in battle, right when Doofenshmirtz had come along and distracted Azterodt long enough for Perry to kick him in the face. That single kick had let out enough venom to incapacitate Azterodt for at least a week, but Perry assured Doof that it wouldn't kill him.

"So what about-" Doof started when they arrived at the lobby to hear a whirring sound. Doof looked up to see the other platypus sitting in the time machine, powering up to travel through time.

"Wait, NOOOOOOOO!" shouted Doof, running to the machine.

"GRRRRR!" shouted Perry, which probably meant, "NOOOOOOO!"

Just as the time machine blasted off, Perry managed to grab onto the machine while Doof grabbed his hand, and they all disappeared in a flash of rainbow light.

**LOCATION: A Time Vortex  
TIME: Um… It's a Time Vortex.**

As the chair flew through the purple background with the clocks everywhere and the word "PRESENT" written on the floor, Doof 'N' Puss were having an epic battle with an evil platypus that looked exactly like Perry.

Perry and Punk-Fake-Mayor-Guy were evenly matched, because they were both platypuses, but Doof was also fighting, so they incapacitated him quickly. At least, they would've, if it weren't for the fact that Doofenshmirtz got confused and attacked Perry instead.

"Grrr," growled Perry, which probably meant, "No, I'm the good guy, you fool! We're supposed to be attacking him!"

"Well, we've been in this vortex for quite a long time," said Doof, "What's up with that?"

PFMG shrugged and growled. He was probably saying, "I don't know, I didn't even know what this thing was, so I just pressed random buttons until something happened."

Doof sighed an pointed to a screen thingy that stuck out of the chair. "Okay, that thing should tell us when we're heading."

The two platypuses looked over Doof's shoulder, reading the screen, which currently read, "Um… It's a Time Vortex."

There was a awkward silence as the three tried to figure out what the thing was talking about.

"Whatever," said Doof after a while, "I'll just set this back to 'The 80's'…"

There was a flash, and they exited the vortex.

**LOCATION: Tri-State Area  
TIME: The 80's, but a week before the other thing.**

Doof 'N' Puss, plus Punk-Fake-Mayor-Guy, arrived at the Tri-State Area. Immediately, the two platypuses began fighting again, and Doof tried to figure out which one was which.

Suddenly, PFMG grabbed a hammer that was lying conveniently nearby and threw it at Perry, but Perry ducked out of the way just in time, and the hammer hit the time machine right on the self-destruct button, causing it to explode on impact!

After the smoke cleared away, Perry turned around to continue fighting, only to find the other platypus had run away.

Doofenshmirtz sighed. "So, what do we do now?"

Perry shrugged and growled, probably meaning, "I guess we just buy a house here or something. This could be a great chance to start a new life, away from all the authorities trying to imprison me for something I didn't do."

"And the giant robots enslaving us in human death matches."

Perry raised an eyebrow.

**LOCATION: Tri-State Area  
TIME: The 80's, but a week after the last one.**

"After that we bought a house and we just hung out there for a while," said Doof. "The next day I got these cool karate robes instead of that unfashionable lab coat, and then we went to get your spurs removed."

"Grrrr," said Perry, probably lamenting how hard it was to fight things now that he didn't produce venom. "Grrr," he said again, which probably meant, "Wait, that still leaves Rick."

"Oh yeah," said Doof. "Well after a few days I tried to recreate the time machine, but onto a rickshaw instead of a chair this time. Somehow I must have messed up with the programming, because I ended up with a sentient computer that sounds exactly like my butler instead."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait!" interrupted Rick, "You mean I was a MISTAKE?!"

"Um, well…," said Doof.

"MEEP!" said the creature with a sense of urgency, saving Doof from trying to think of an explanation.

"All right, what do we do about this guy?" asked Doof, getting tired of its constant interruptions.

Perry shrugged. "Grrrr," he said, which probably meant, "I don't know, but I think it'd be funny if we put a moustache on him."


	6. Episode 5: A Meaping of the Minds

**THE CHRONICLES OF MEAP**

**EPISODE 5: A MEAPING OF THE MINDS**

**This episode is significantly shorter than the others... Eh, oh well. Anyway, some credit goes to Decepticonlover, for inspiring one aspect of this episode. Enjoy!**

We last left our hero confronting the other two heroes, trying and failing to communicate with them through his meaping sounds. The next time he tried to warn an alien species about their impending danger, Meap was going to make sure he had some helpful pictures with him. For now, however, all he had was his native language, which of course they did not understand.

Then, for no apparent reason, Perry the Platypus put a fake moustache on him. Meap wasn't sure what exactly the purpose of that was, so instead he just decided to try to talk to them again. This time however, instead of his usual "meap," he found himself speaking fluent English.

"I am in desperate need of your help!" he said.

Doof 'N' Puss stared at him, wide-eyed and dumbfounded. Meap himself was also surprised. Since when did fake moustaches make him speak English? Just to make sure it _was_ the moustache, however, Meap took it off and tried speaking again.

"Meap!" he yelled.

Doofenshmirtz gasped. "The moustache makes him talk!" he exclaimed.

"Grrr," said Perry, which Meap somehow understood as, "At least, that's the only thing we can think of at the moment." Which was odd, as Meap had never understood Platypus-ese. Something was seriously wrong with that moustache they put on him.

Placing it back on, Meap continued. "Listen, your planet is in more danger than you think. As we speak, my nemesis, Mitch, is headed to Earth, bent on destroying the stratosphere! I was on my way to his spaceship to confront him, when a dinosaur on a hovercraft shot me out of the sky! Which is why I need your help to fix my ship and get back into space!"

"Wow," said Doof. "Good thing I invent things for a living, then, or else that would've been a problem."

One slightly humorous building montage later, Meap's spaceship was all fixed and ready to go.

"Okay, guys, you ready?" Meap asked after they'd all climbed in.

"Grrrrr!" yelled Perry, pointing upwards. Meap immediately understood it as, "Look out, a giant robot is about to grab us!"

Sure enough, Meap's ship was suddenly picked right off the ground by a giant robotic hand. It lifted them into the air until they were face-to-face with a giant robotic… face.

"Hahaha!" yelled the robot. "Remember me?"

"Grrr," said Perry, which probably meant, "Uh, no, we don't remember you."

The robot frowned. Or rather, it did something with its face that resembled a frown. Then, it transformed into a pink monster with glowing red eyes.

"Oh, now I remember you!" exclaimed Doofenshmirtz.

"Yes, it is I," exclaimed Punk-Fake-Mayor-Guy, transforming back into a robot, "Punk-Fake-Mayor-Guy! Do you like my new form? I was inspired by that _Transformers_ movie they were playing in a drive-in theater while I was escaping from jail!"

"Grrr," said Perry, which probably meant, "Another reason why that movie should have never been made."

"And this new form is virtually indestructible!" PFMG continued bragging, ignoring Perry's comment. "The only way you could defeat me is, like, if you had another giant robot to fight against me!"

Suddenly, Doof 'N' Puss heard something they had never been happier to hear in their lives. This was, of course, followed by another sound they instantly regretted being happy for.

"I'm Norm!" said Norm. "Must destroy fuzzy weasels!"

"Oh, that's not good," said Doof.

"It appears the V-Weapon has been activated," laughed a voice that Meap suddenly recognized.

"Of course, _I_ wouldn't know anything about _that_," said Mitch, slowly flying over to them on his own hovercraft.

"Mitch," Meap narrowed his eyes.

"Actually, some people call me Big Mitch," said Mitch, whom some call Big Mitch.

"Whatever," said Meap, "How are you speaking English?"

"Oh, you think you're the only one who knows about our species' unnatural ability to speak different languages when wearing fake moustaches?" asked Mitch. "You see, back in Meapellshtump, when I was a boy, I found a fake moustache lying on the ground."

There was a short silence after that.

"That… that's it," said Mitch. "That's how I found out."

"Oh," said Doof, "Say, why aren't the robots attacking? I mean, they have no reason to wait for one villain to finish his villain speech, when they could easily just attack us while we're distracted."

"Oh yeah," said PFMG, "I hadn't thought of that. Prepare to be crushed between my fingers!"

"Grrr," said Perry, which probably meant, "Thanks a lot, Doof."

"Okay, as soon as I eject us, you guys try to land on one of the giant robots. See if you can find some weakness. I'll battle Mitch."

Meap pressed the eject button, and the Doofenshmirtz leaped toward Punk-Fake-Mayor-Guy, Perry leaped at Norm, and Meap leaped onto Mitch's hovercraft.

"Your puny efforts amuse me," Mitch admitted as Meap confronted him. "While you're fighting me, the giant robots will easily dispose of your minions."

"Not if we can help it," said a voice that Meap didn't recognize, but Doof 'N' Puss did.

Meap looked up to see a giant weasel fly in on a jetpack and shoot both robots with a laser gun.

Immediately, both the robots began to shrink, until they got out of Meap's range of vision.

Meanwhile, on the ground, Doof yelled, "it was you!" as he saw PFMG's platypus form.

"Yes, it was I," said PFMG as he turned back into a person. "I was the one who impersonated Perry the Platypus all those years ago, and I was the true assassin of Abraham Lincoln!"

"Why would you do that?' asked Doof. "You destroyed our only way back home!"

"You think I wanted to?" asked PFMG. "John Wilkes Booth was about to give me a raise! It's your fault for putting a self-destruct button on everything!"

Meanwhile, Perry the Platypus was having a very different conversation with Norm.

The platypus ray had somehow malfunctioned on him, and the result had been some horrible combination of platypus and robot: a Platyborg.

"Grrrrr," said Perry, which probably meant, "Why do you look so familiar?"

"Grrrrr," said the Platyborg metallically, which probably meant, "Must destroy fuzzy weasels."

Then his feet transformed into miniature rockets and he flew up into the sky, shooting lasers everywhere.

"So, you see?" said Mitch, back in the air. "The V-Weapon will quickly fulfill its purpose and destroy all fuzzy weasels, and Punk-Fake-Mayor-Guy will quickly transform into a robot and destroy you three. Then nothing will stop me from DESTROYING THE STRATOSPHERE! AHAHAHAHA!"

"How exactly do you plan on destroying the stratosphere, anyway?" asked Meap.

Mitch smiled. "You see, Meap, I have been planning this for a very long time. It was I who convinced them to give Punk-Fake-Mayor-Guy a huge chunk of cheese for his last meal, knowing Eggy would break through the wall and let him out. It was I who sent the V-Weapon on a rampage to Earth before the Vooga could use it in the war. It was I who then activated him when they were in space, knowing he would come right back here. It was I who directed the Transformers movie! All part of my master plan to DESTROY THE STRATOSPHERE! AHAHAHAHA!"

"Wait, wait, wait," said PFMG, who had turned back into a robot while Mitch was talking. "You mean you've been manipulating us this whole time?"

"Grrrr," said Norm, who had flown over to them while Mitch was talking. He had probably meant to say, "Not cool, man. Not cool."

"Let's get him!" yelled PFMG.

Meap whistled loudly and OogaBooga complied, catching him as he jumped off of Mitch's hovercraft.

Meap looked up in time to see Norm zap him with a laser on him arm, and PFMg crush the hovercraft in his fist.

OogaBooga dropped Meap off on the ground, where PFMG and Norm looked down at him.

"Now, prepare as I cursh you like- Ah, who am I kidding, I'm exhausted," said PFMG. "Same time tomorrow?"

"Sounds good to me," said Doof as PFMG lumbered off, his giant robotic footsteps shaking the ground.

Norm flew down to them, growling metallically. He probably meant, "You know, realizing I've been manipulated all this time has made me rethink my loyalties. The fuzzy weasels are actually pretty nice guys."

"Good," said OogaBooga. "Because we could still use some help in the war."

"Wait, what about all those people that were turned into platypuses?" asked Doof.

"Don't worry, it'll wear off by the next episode," said OogaBooga. "So, I guess this is goodbye."

"But you don't have a spaceship," said Meap.

"We found one while escaping Area 51," explained OogaBooga, pointing to a huge flying saucer that Meap hadn't noticed earlier.

"Well, considering my spaceship probably fell to the ground whenever PFMG was turned into a platypus, mind giving me a ride?" asked Meap.

"No problem," said OogaBooga.

Once all the aliens had gotten into the saucer, OogaBooga, Norm the Platyborg, and Meap faced Doof 'N' Puss and waved goodbye. They'd confronted all those enemies together, but now it was time to leave, forever.

Doof 'N' Puss waved goodbye just as the saucer floated into the air and zoomed off into the sky at warp-speed.

"Well, that was fun," said Doof.

Suddenly, a rickshaw rolled up to them, and a computer thingy came out.

"Remind me again, why I wasn't in this one?" asked Rick.

Meanwhile, in another dimension…

Mitch was opened his eyes to what appeared to be a giant crib. That was odd. Mitch had thought he'd be vaporized by the V-Weapon's laser, not transported somewhere else.

Suddenly, Mitch heard a loud squeaking sound behind him. Mitch turned around just in time to see a giant green alien baby with a mallet held over its head and a mischievous smile on its face.

"Oh no," Mitch muttered.


End file.
